Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

Why did the chickecross the roe? Because I was bein chased by an angry group o mobsters that 8 years ago were busted by the chicken when he was still working for NYPD and found them all in an ally and busted them for later discovered tax evasion and then 2 years later they found a way ou of prison and tracked down the chicken for 6 years until they found him in road island 4509 lake side estates and then proceeded to chase him onto and across a road that was near by to his lake side apartment and then they go tire and we. Back to their HQ in NY and then the leader of the gang went home and in a depression fuels rage mersiouy beat his wife then went up stairs and threw his 9 year old son out the window and hanged himself. The chicken also died because 8 years is at the top of their lifespan.

Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

A man walked into a bar. I shot him

Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

What do you call two black men screaming as loud as they can? Scared

just in time?

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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