Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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whats black and doesnt like politics? a black chair

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

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What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

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what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

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"What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights." *Your suggestion is contradictory considering the fact that you are implying "Women's rights" is more humorous than "Women's rights".

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops