how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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Your dad isn't gay...but his boyfriend..HES REALLY GAY!

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stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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hard cheese

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops