What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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- Helen Keller

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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Whats the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out!

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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Roses are RED , Violets are BLUE , once Valentines day is Over , All ya girls is gonna go back to LOVIN' THE CREW.

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY ATHORITAH RESPECT MY 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I love you

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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What does a cow do at McDonald's? He is eaten by obese people.

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One day a woman wrote a letter to her husband whom was at war. He received it, read it, and was happy to know she was thinking of him.

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What do you call a white guy in a joke? The first joke to specify one of the people in the joke as one with Caucasian origin.

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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