Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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If woman that have big breasts work at Hooters, then do woman with one leg work at Ihop?

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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