Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus.

Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

ring around the rosie ... your dead

What is a jew in space? Dead

What do you get when you cross an orange with a gerbil? A mailbox that lights up when you open it

What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

What did the cat say to the cat? Miau

Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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