Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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What is sticky and smelly - a stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Suck pussy

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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yada yada

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

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a man walks into a bar and has a drink james

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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