Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests Testicals

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

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Whats worse than one jew. Ben rike

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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life is like a box of chocolates, it sucks if you have diabetes

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me. I heard you do some pretty nasty things with 9. Sincerely, 7

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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2 black people and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The black person because they decided it would save gas if they all carpooled to their job.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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