Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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What do you call the people that ride on the upper level of a double decker bus? Passengers.

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

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What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

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Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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Where did Lucy go went the bomb went off? Everywhere

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops