There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

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2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

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What is life? Paul.

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Tim: You wanna hear an anti-joke? Billy: Yes! Tim: Okay, I've got one for you Billy: Let's hear it! Tim: 1

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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