My cat just died.

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

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Yo' mama's so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

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Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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"...."-Hellen Keller

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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