What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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The WNBA.

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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