Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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