Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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