Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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time to spruce up!

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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