How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

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A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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96

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A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops