You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

thumb_up thumb_down +5

It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

96

thumb_up thumb_down +5

300 terrorists have a contest, they all jump off a tower and die. Who wins? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chickecross the roe? Because I was bein chased by an angry group o mobsters that 8 years ago were busted by the chicken when he was still working for NYPD and found them all in an ally and busted them for later discovered tax evasion and then 2 years later they found a way ou of prison and tracked down the chicken for 6 years until they found him in road island 4509 lake side estates and then proceeded to chase him onto and across a road that was near by to his lake side apartment and then they go tire and we. Back to their HQ in NY and then the leader of the gang went home and in a depression fuels rage mersiouy beat his wife then went up stairs and threw his 9 year old son out the window and hanged himself. The chicken also died because 8 years is at the top of their lifespan.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops