When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

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You know Hellen Kellers retarded? No shes blind and deaf. Ehhh same thing.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

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If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

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It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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- Helen Keller

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your mommas so stupid she has trouble doing things an average person would manage easily

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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What is cowboy say

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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