i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

Cool story bro. Tell it again.

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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