What's the difference between a lamp?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey Shea

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops