What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

You know what's gay?? Lesbians

WILLY

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

Why was the mom happy cause her daughter had an abortion

why did the chicen cross the road? because it saw an excellent deal on hair products on the other side of the street.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

why did the chinken cross the rode? why? to get to the gay persons house. Knock, Knock. Who's there. the chicken.

K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?' The horse says "I was just diagnosed with testicular cancer."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...