What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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whats the worst part about being a black jew your black and jewish

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Religionh

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What did the Muslim do on 911? He weeped for the loss of his many good friends and relatives

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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