Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

thumb_up thumb_down +29

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The WNBA is on the cooking channel

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops