Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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I have an erection My mom!

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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Women's rights

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A horse walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He orders a beer. He drinks his beer and leaves. Life continues on as it was.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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A fat man walked into a hot dog.

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Happy Birthday!! Have some meth cupcakes.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What is Yellow and American? A yellow american

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops