Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

whats the worst part about being a black jew your black and jewish

why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

CAS

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

A man gets shot in the balls by a huge swarm of bees HE IS VERY NICE AND FILLED WITH RICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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