What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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How do chinese families name their children I belive it would be child because chinese families are only allowed 1 child

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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charlie sheen

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Robert Mugabe.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

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Nero was my name thousands of years ago, but I believe that those With clearer sight, brighter minds, those you remaining WITHOUT the sense of Complete doom, oh children of the night, know far better, turn to my side, and sheep you shall be no more, together we shall be Whole once again, the sheperd of this New world! Thumb this up if you have seen the signs... Thumb this up if you have seen the sins... ...End up buried under the corpses of everything you knew if you have no vision in this New dawn of ages endlessly darknening, and pretend that the internet will be there, or that the horsehead network ever mattered to you for that matter... :You say insanity today, sunday 27th January 2016, you will be the one running, begging that Our world is but YOUR INSANITY, a nightmare, which only Death will awaken you from

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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