You know what's the least funniest part about cancer? I am about to die in about a month or so.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

thumb_up thumb_down +2

it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

ask me if im deaf. are you deaf? ...............

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops