what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

hi

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

what is darker than black?... YOU

lebron

roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

Women's Rights

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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