What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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what goes boo a sock

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You wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment. Just kidding, women are actually a very valued part of our society. Just kidding again.

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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Weed.

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops