Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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Q: What did the passengers think of thier Chineese bus driver? A: They were very pleased with the bus driver's service, for he was a very safe driver and got them to their destination on time.

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Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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whats the diffrents beetween a footballer and a hat nothing i lke chesse

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Why did the man cross the street? Because no cars were coming and he wanted to get to the othher side

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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Why did the girl start crying? Her pet sunflower had just died.

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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Q. why did the plane crash? A. because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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A guy thought it could be funny to write a joke that is not and post it on a social network. And did it

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Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

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Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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