So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Why did my toaster break? because it was made in china

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go F*** yourself

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

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Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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ur gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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poop

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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