what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

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your face is kinda funny

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what do you call a kid named kid. kid

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What happened to the disabled man who went to Disneyland? He had a great time.

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Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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