Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops