Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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