What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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Why did the boy have no ankles? Because his legs were amputated

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A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

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bologna

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops