Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

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Have you ever heard of a goose?

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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Why Didnt John Return any of his calls he was in a very serious car accident fell into a coma and will probablly will not wake up ever again

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can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

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What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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