A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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the WNBA

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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Your dads dead. lol

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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What's Big and Round? My Testicular Cancer

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and 1000 dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, a son of Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden, a billionaire construction magnate with close ties to the Saudi royal family.

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

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Why did the Jew go to prison. He slaughtered his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops