how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Keanu Reaves

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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a black man did not eat chicken.

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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Jackie Chan: Who the **** is chuck Testa? A: Chuck Testa was an internet sensation who became famous after his video on Youtube advertising his taxidermy business, Ojai Valley Taxidermy.

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops