My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

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Wright flyer

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did my toaster break? because it was made in china

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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A mormon walks into a bar.

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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