- Anti Joke

A sociopath and his neighbors dog. He got one of those huge dogs the other day, and it took a crap on my lawn, so I put up a wanted poster 50000 dollars Wanted Dead Or Alive, and that dog smells and bites... It did not work, so I took my neighbor out hunting, I shot his dog, "Said sorry I thought it was a moose" He replied "did you have to shoot at him 15 times?" "I replied, I am out of ammo, but if you can borrow me some I can land a few extra..." Asshole got another dog, so we went out duck hunting, he asked me why I brought a hand grenade... "Land ducks, dog shaped non flying land ducks" Also I stole his office nametag and got naked and sat on a random office at his workplace and jacked off to porn, his boss showed up and said "Mr. Asswhipe, just because this is your office you are not allowed to get naked and uh... Watch... Uh private stuff here okay? I smirked and said "Dont worry Boss, its not my office!" I used glue to glue his nametag to my chest okay? He got yet another dog, I shot my neighbor, his dog starved to death, his wife was mourning and bought two dogs to comfort her. Thats okay, I just picked up both chiguguas at once and broke their neck in a single stroke, then I set fire to her house... The wind spread it on to mine... Fuck... I shot her and took her place, its the same as mine basically, just that there is a dead bitch I can fuck... I mean the woman, you think I am pervert or something? Besides you know... They are chiguguas, I mean i tried its... Its just not... You know... HEY RELAX THEY WHERE BOTH FEMALE OKAY? AND NO NOTHING FIT ANYWHERE SO I HAD TO CUT THEM OPEN AND... Moral of the story: Do not shoot the dog! Poor innocent animal! shot the owner, and then the poor innocent animal! NeroMetal, not the fucker that stole my moral system and name to make this site into some fucking cult thing... I do not cult, I you know... Kids... Dogs... Women... (I love them you fucking sicko) I give them candy (candy being my cock yeah you fellow sicko)

how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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