Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

Haha, I get it..

what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

what do you call a kid named kid. kid

What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

Balls

Billy wanted a pet...and now he got cancer...

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

How do you kill a blonde? Push her off a cliff.

Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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