Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Why? Because racecar.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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