What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

A blind man walks into the door of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +151

roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +105

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

BUT HWY?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops