Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Why? Because racecar.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops