What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops