A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

live or die you decide to late time to die

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

whats annoying and black? black people

thumb_up thumb_down +126

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops