Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

womens sports...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Wumbo

thumb_up thumb_down +28

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops