Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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pedophile

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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lebron

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Women's Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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