Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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lebron

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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Arrow to the Knee

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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Chikin nuggets

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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