Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

America Votes

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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