What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she believes in God. While her faith has absolutely nothing to do with her intelligence and in 2014 only the most bigoted and stupid people would demean people based on their religion,she does have an IQ of 65 and is therefore believed to be mentally inadequate. It's really quite sad.

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Q: How did the black man get to the first branch on the tree? A: He climbed, like the average person.

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Bad grammers.

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Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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a skinny sumo wrestler

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

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What is th edifference between jerry sandusky and mike citro sandusky rapes children... ...and joe diragi is gay

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Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

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whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

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A man was caught cross dressing by his wife. She divorced him.

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hi dave

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What do you call a dead cow? Dead Meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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