Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Bill: Heydidyouknowlosersaywhat Donny: What? Bill: Loser

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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