Why did god create anti-jokes? He didn't.

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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