what do you call a kid named kid. kid

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

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Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

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Haha, I get it..

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

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What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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What did the Mexican parents name their first born son? Nobody knows. He was adopted by a nice family due to the fact that his biological parents were murdered in cold blood. His foster parents named him Kevin.

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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