How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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Why did the little girl cross the road??? To get away from the strange man

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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Q: What do you call a cow wearing a hat? A: A cow wearing a hat.

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Man 1: What's the difference between an elephant and a mailbox? Man 2: I don't know. Man 1: You'd make a terrible postman

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I Rape you!!!

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Blah blah something about Ryan Dunn.

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Knock Knock Who's there The Holocaust!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

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What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

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4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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