My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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i am 26 why was i kidnapped 13 years ago cause i was in a badly written play

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. He's not really a chicken, he's just called a chicken because he is always afraid.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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the redsox

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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I work at jcpenny

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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