Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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A man is watching a football game and sees a comercial for a medicine that boosts testosterone levels. However, this man has no issues with his testosterone levels, so he proceeds to watch the rest of the game and then goes to bed.

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

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why did the kid get home from school early cause he was home from school..

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

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What does water smell like? water.

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Poop

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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Need For Speed 30025 DRIVE OVER 60000 EXTREME CARS OVER 60 BILLION REAL LIFE GRAPHICS TRACKS! WHILE LISTENING TO BULLSHIT SONGS THAT MAKE YOU CRY! NO PAUSE BUTTON! EVERY CAR MUST BE UNLOCKED BY PLAYING THE SAME TRACK (Yeah music track too) OVER AND OVER AGAIN! OVER 6000000 ONLINE GAMERS AT THE SAME TIME WORLDWIDE, EACH TRACK HAS 5000000 THOUSAND LAPS SO THE FUN NEVER ENDS! UNLOCK ALL STUFF DLC: 6000 Bucks. Moral: So I have not been here since I called myself the sociopath or something, who the fuck are these Nero`s and Neronism and all that fuck? :( They almost improved my reputation! THATS HORRIBLE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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