Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They end up getting into a heated argument. After about an hour of back and forth they decide that each person has a valid point, agree to disagree, and go about there business.

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

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Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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What's 9+10? 19.

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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